RUDOLF B.

Would you say the process was cathartic? FF:  It was not cathartic during the filming. That was just messy, for me in my head. But now, afterwards it’s cathartic. Editing was pretty good, but hard. It put things into perspective, in a way. It became she — the person on the screen. The character. I sort of separated myself a little bit. I became a person with a story that happened to me, rather than feeling it was too heavy. I felt I could actually move on. Now, really, getting the support from others has made the biggest difference. Other women — and men too — struggle with the embarrassment and the shame that comes with it. When you do tell people they never really think what you think they’re going to think — if that makes any sense. People just say, ‘Oh my god!’ and give you support. The response has been the biggest help, [it] has made it all worth it. Even the whole incident. Having so many women come forward to me and messaging me and email me and talking to me about screenings and events. It’s been amazing and fantastic. How true is the film to your own experience? FF: In reality, the experience was much worse. We couldn’t bring the audience through all that. There were so many rapes in real life — we couldn’t just put it all in there. No one’s going to sit through that. They’re going to walk out. They’re going to turn it off. Honestly! I would too! I have to look at it from an audience point of view, as a consumer: Do I want to watch this? No! This is not entertainment. Even if it’s a horrific story, it has to be entertaining so you actually stay through the film. I’m not saying you have to laugh, but we should want the audience to watch it ’til the end. So we carefully chose the moments that would be defining in the story. We had the one that she wakes up with, we had one that’s just disgusting, and we have a third one where she just doesn’t want to live any more after. We had five more in the script that we just took out. We had to narrow it down to three. In real life, the main captor was much worse. We made him different because we had to give him a character. In real life, I didn’t know anything about him. He never talked to me. Me and the writers together wanted to give him a reason so that you could at least understand him — you would never agree with him or sympathize with him but you need to understand him. Unless he’s just a psycho — and I don’t think he was a psycho. I think he had a reason. The apartment in real life was so decked out. It was clear I was not the first, and I’m sure I was not going to be the last. The kitchen didn’t have any drawers, any doors, anything that could be taken out and used as a weapon, the toilet had no toilet seat, there was no mirror. No one would set that up just for me. I’m not that special. In the film, the person who holds the main character captive manages to escape from police. In reality, he got away as well. Is there any hope the movie will lead to punishment for him? FF: I don’t know if the film will [lead to consequences for the perpetrator]. I just hope that by now he’s been caught. He wasn’t caught at the time, and I wanted that to be clear. No one really knows about this but we actually shot two endings. The director wanted to shoot an ending where he was caught, just in case. And I had to say, ‘There is no just in case. You’re wasting my time. You’re wasting my money.’ So we did shoot two other endings but we never got to use it. Another ending was that the cops come in, on the floor, and he’s dead. But that’s not the truth, so that was never used. Taking a step back from the reality of the situation, what was the thinking about genre in terms of the movie? What kind of movie were you aiming to make? FF: It’s often been categorized as horror. At first I was like, ‘It’s not horror! It’s a thriller!’ And then I realized, actually it’s pretty horrific. And I had to be like, ‘Sorry about that major reaction.’ The thing is, it’s not a true horror movie. It’s not a slasher. But it is a horrific film. I would say it’s a horror film, it’s a thriller, and it’s – I don’t know, a drama maybe? I wouldn’t say it’s a documentary, it’s more of a biopic.